Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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