What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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