I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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