Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
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They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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