dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
