Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
