pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
