I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Rumble strips road head = magical
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
