Sponge bath it is.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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