She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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