so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
