the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
