dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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