i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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