it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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