I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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