My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
