Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
