week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
