Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
