Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
