Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
