Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
