Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
