his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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