seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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