just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
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I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize