If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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