You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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