dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
