I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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