bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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