Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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