Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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