Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
