Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
