Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
