Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
