someone get that fucking seahorse.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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