You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
A bitchslap is in order.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
