Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
