Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
