Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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