you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
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The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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