So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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