Tell her she can't have a vagina
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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