Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
