i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
