her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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