I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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