Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
In the future we'll all be gay
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize