i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
