I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
