My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize