You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
