Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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