My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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