You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
