she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
