i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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