i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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